A Trip to the ICU

Carter is no stranger to illness. The poor kid has been sick for half of his life (seriously). And I know that I really can't complain; he could have cancer or some other life-threatening condition. I'm so grateful that he is as healthy as he is. And I try to remind myself of that whenever it's the middle of the night and no one is sleeping because he's coughing and crying and wheezing.

Anyway, I always talk about how happy Carter is. He is truly a sweet, smiley kid. I LOVE it. Even when he's sick, he's still always quick to smile. That's why I grew concerned when in one day he went from this:

to this:

In all the times he's been sick, I've never seen him get knocked down like this. He got so sad and pathetic. He didn't want to eat. He fell asleep in his highchair at dinner.

So finally, on day five of him being sick and pathetic, I noticed he had a wicked fever. I checked his temperature rectally (because it's more accurate), and it was over 103. I called his pediatrician. I gave him Tylenol. I let him sleep. When he woke up not much later, I checked his temperature again. It was over 104. I called the doctor back and made an appointment to go in later that day.

Long story short, they gave him two Albuterol treatments in the office. He didn't improve much. He had an ear infection. His blood oxygen level was low. The doctor made a call to the Hasbro Children's ER in Providence, and I made a call to Daniel. I dropped Aubrey off at a friend's house, where she got to play with one of her favorite church friends. She was happy. Daniel left work early to pick her up and take her home, and I went to the ER with Carter.

It was the day after the Superbowl (and I guess the Patriots won, so people were excited or whatever), and the place was PACKED. Like, every nurse and doctor I talked to was saying it was the busiest they'd seen it in who-knows-how-long. Luckily, Carter's age and condition put him at high priority. Still, we waited for more than two hours. At least I got some good snuggles in...

They checked his breathing regularly. They did a chest x-ray. They monitored his blood oxygen level and decided to administer oxygen via a nebulizer. Silly Carter kept wiggling his feet until the pulse oximeter would fall off his toe, so they kept using more and more tape to secure it.

At some point, a doctor said very non-chalantly that Carter had Bronchiolitis and that they would probably be sending him upstairs to stay the night for observation. He said they'd let me know for sure after his x-ray results. Thankfully, the pediatrician had mentioned an overnight stay as a possibility, so I wasn't completely surprised. However, I was a little surprised when a doctor came down and said they were ready to take Carter upstairs, considering that no one in the ER had come to tell me that it was definitely happening. Oh well; I know they were busy.

When we got upstairs, they used a "deep suction" machine to clear out Carter's sinuses. It looked awful, and he hated it. But hey, it helped. They also decided to hook Carter up with some oxygen via those little nose tubes (nasal cannula, apparently). Not surprisingly, he was NOT a fan of that either. He kept rubbing his face and making them come out. He was completely exhausted but couldn't settle down.

Aww, see how sad he was?

Finally, after I turned off the lights and held his arms down (gently) so that he wouldn't disturb the tubes, he fell asleep. Daniel arrived not long after with food and overnight things for me. Someone from church was sitting on our couch while Aubrey slept, so he didn't stay long. And Carter didn't stay asleep long either, unfortunately.  

So I climbed in the crib with him. I even had the nurse pull the railing up on the other side so that I wouldn't be hanging out. It was... snug (read: uncomfortable). So once he was deeply asleep, I got out of the crib and got ready for bed. Being very sick myself (I eventually ended up with sinusitis and an ear infection), I decided to take some medicine so I could feel better. Bad idea. I fell into a very foggy sleep, waking up whenever the nurse would come in to check on Carter (usually when his monitor beeped because his oxygen level went too low). I kept wanting to get up when she came in--to see how he was doing--but I couldn't move my limbs. The medicine and my exhaustion were too powerful. 

But then one of the times I woke up and found the nurse and two doctors surrounding Carter's bed. I heard something about the ICU, and I popped awake. Apparently, Carter's heart rate had dropped, and his respiratory rate wasn't good either. A doctor from the ICU came up to check on him. They took a blood sample and changed him into a hospital shirt. They gave him an IV for fluids (since he hadn't eaten in forever). At this point, there were two nurses and two doctors surrounding his bed. There were also two other doctors standing at the foot of the bed consulting. 

The woman holding onto him here was the nurse, Karen. She was great. She said there were a lot of pretty sick kids on the floor but that she had spent almost all of the night with Carter. That's why she suggested he needed to go to the ICU.

And so we transferred downstairs to the ICU (and my new room didn't have its own bathroom... lame). At this point I texted my mom, who said, "I'm packing my bags." Hooray for moms/grandmas! Anyway, Carter was a sweetheart and a trooper through it all, even though the night was very restless and no one slept more than a half hour at a time. Just look at this sad, sweet face!

Daniel took the next day off from work (obviously), and in the morning Aubrey went back to her friend's house (so much gratitude to the Bedke family!) so that Daniel and I could switch places. He went to the hospital and I went home, ate breakfast, took a shower, and went to pick up Aubrey. When she and I got home, I gave her the iPad so that I could get a few hours of sleep. I feel no shame whatsoever.

My mom arrived in Boston around 5:00 and took a rental car to our place. I left her there with Aubrey asleep, and then Daniel and I made the switch again. According to Daniel, Carter pretty much slept all day (which was good but also totally unfair that Daniel got the easy shift). He only woke up to get his different medicines (Pulmicort and Albuterol, of course) and to eat. His appetite still wasn't good though, and he still needed oxygen. Daniel and a friend from the ward gave him a blessing. I missed it, sadly, because it happened before I got there.

Daniel went home and went to work the next day since my mom was there to take care of Aubrey for us. And I stayed with Carter again, only this time I didn't drug myself. After a much better night--in which they were finally able to take Carter off of oxygen--the doctors told me he could go home that day. They took out the IV and gave him a shot for his remaining antibiotic. And he was smiling again! He made all the doctors and nurses swoon.

Carter continued to improve drastically after we got home, but his appetite took several days to come back. As it is, he's still not eating as much as he was before the hospital. But he's completely back to normal now, and we're so very grateful! I can't even begin to express my gratitude for the members of our ward, many of whom offered help. I feel bad I didn't respond to every single offer. I'm also very grateful for all the friends and family who prayed and were thinking of us. We felt so loved!

A lot of people asked me how I was doing through all of this, and I felt guilty that I was totally fine. The nurses and doctors were so unalarmed and so calm, and that helped me not to worry. And though I can't explain it, I just knew that Carter was going to be fine. I felt very sad for him, but I wasn't worried. That's weird for me, but it was definitely a blessing. And who knows... maybe it's just that I was too sick to process everything! Haha.

Anyway, I'm so glad that we're all doing better. And I plan to never take my children out of the house ever again. The germs are everywhere!

Month Eight

Phew, what a month we've had! As usual, it's been filled with lots of sickness, but this time our sweet lovey ended up in the ICU. :( But that's a story for another post! THIS post is about capturing all the cute things that make Carter the wonderful boy he is. So, here we go!

• He's discovered his tongue! He loves sticking it out when he babbles.
• He loves to say "dadada." I've been trying to teach him "mama," but no luck so far, haha.
• He's definitely having some separation anxiety. He cries whenever I leave the room! He also cries when I put him down.
• When he really likes something and/or if he wants you to do something again, he bobs his head back and forth. It's his trademark!

• As I mentioned last time, Carter often ends up in our bed in the early morning hours. And, as with most babies, he wakes up earlier than I do. So when he wakes up, he maneuvers himself around until he's lying perpendicular to me. Then he starts poking me with his foot until I open my eyes and look at him. Then he smiles. If I close my eyes again, he starts kicking me again. If I scooch him over so he can't reach, he scooches back. If I roll away from him, he cries. It's cute and all, but I wish I could sleep later!
• I think he's a little behind developmentally as a result of his being sick all the time (and because infants with Tracheomalacia often experience developmental delay), but we're not too worried at this stage. I think a lot of it is that he's just so happy and content that he doesn't feel the need to try to crawl or assert his independence in other ways. And hey, he can hold his own bottle!

• Also as a result of his being sick all the time, he's just not a very good sleeper. Before the chronic illness began, he was sleeping through the night with no problems. But he kept getting sick over and over again, and when he was sick he'd wake up often and need medicine or comfort or snot removal or to be held so that he could sleep sitting up (to ease his cough). Now, our pediatrician says, he's established a pattern of waking up and needing us in the middle of the night--even when he's not sick. It's a pattern we plan to break next week during Daniel's vacation week... unless he's sick again. *sigh*
• Wait, I just realized I never provided the official diagnosis we got from the pulmonary specialist! Okay, so. He has a condition called Reactive Airway Disease. The official explanation is this: "Numerous environmental stimuli induce an allergen-antibody interaction, causing a release of mediators that create airway inflammation. Airway inflammation is the primary factor responsible for smooth muscle hyperresponsiveness, edema, and increased mucous production." Basically, it means that he wheezes, especially when he gets sick. It can be an indication of asthma, though we can't really say until he's older and can be tested. He also has Tracheomalacia, which basically means that the cartilage in his trachea is underdeveloped, making it all floppy and flappy. This picture explains it well:

• Because of these illnesses, he takes Singulair every day in little granules that we mix into his food. He also does Budesonide (brand name Pulmicort) twice a day via nebulizer. Then, when he gets sick, we have to do Albuterol treatments via nebulizer every few hours to open his airways and help him breathe. We also usually have to get a course of Prednisone (an oral steroid) for him during illnesses. It's a lot. The hope is that his Tracheomalacia will right itself by his first birthday. Fingers crossed!
• He has two little teeth on the bottom, and for some reason I find them adorable!

• While Grandma was just here visiting, she discovered that Carter loves to go upside down! In fact, if you try to sit him back up, he straightens out his legs and tries to go backwards again.
• When he sees his bottle being made, he gets a big smile on his face and starts bouncing. As you bring it towards him, he opens his mouth really wide. If you don't bring it to him right away, he cries like he's experienced the most bitter betrayal. The boy loves to eat! He's much more picky, too, than Aubrey was. He hates peas and won't eat anything that has them in it, even if I add sweet fruits to mask the taste.
• He loves to take off his socks and chew on them. He always has cold feet because he can't keep his socks on (or dry!).

• When he decides he's done eating something, he'll start blowing raspberries if you bring the spoon to his mouth. It's messy but cute!
• He cries when Aubrey throws loud tantrums or screams. He's so sensitive!
• Just like Aubrey when she was a baby, he loves the book Horns to Toes and Inbetween by Sandra Boynton. When I hold him up to him, he starts smiling really big. It's nice to see him getting more into books in general.
• When he eats, he often sways and bobs his head so that it's really difficult to get the spoon in his mouth. It makes feeding him either really amusing or really frustrating (depending on my mood, haha).

• He has a little fakey cry he does sometimes when he wants to be picked up. He contorts his face all funny and does this faux cry that is hysterical. And hey, because I find it so dang cute, it still works! So there you go.
• Truly, this boy is pure sunshine. He is almost always happy and can be put down for long periods of time without needing too much. It's easy to forget about him sometimes because he's so easy-going. But he's also so happy and sweet that you can't really go too long without him before you start missing his sweet face and infectious laughter!